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Funny Wedding Vows

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Are looking for funny wedding vows to add a more memorable fun time to your wedding? Because you have seen how many people keep using the same old boring wedding vows that make everyone yawn.

A special part of your wedding planning is the vows you choose. So do you want to choose yours so funny and original that makes all your guests remember your wedding memory?

Also your spouse will be so proud of you to have chosen such a funny wedding vow.

So on this page you can find some of the best and top-rated funny vows to use easily. Simply click on each of the vows below to see the full vow...

Funny Wedding Vow #1:

Minister: Will you take her as your wife? Will you love her all your life?

Groom: Yes, I take her as my wife, Yes, I'll love her all my life.

Minister: Will you have, and also hold Just as you have at this time told?

Groom: Yes, I will have, and I will hold, Just as I have at this time told, Yes, I will love her all my life As I now take her as my wife.

Same goes for the bride.

Funny Wedding Vow #2:

Officiant to Bride: Do you promise to love, honor, cook for, clean up after, surrender your share of the blanket to, live with the flatulence of, relinquish the remote to and with the toilet seat after until death do you part?

Officiant to Groom: You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, and you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride.

Funny Wedding Vow #3:

Groom: I, John, choose you, Karen, to be my wife. In front of our friends and family gathered here I promise to love and cherish you throughout the good times and bad times. I promise to try to remember to put down the toilet seat and to replace the toilet roll when it finishes. I promise to remember this day with love and roses. I will love you always.

Bride: I, Karen, choose you, John, to by my husband. In front of our friends and family, I promise to love and cherish you through every obstacle that may come into our path. I promise to learn how to change a tire and how to refill the screen wash when it runs out. I will comfort you when your team loses and drink beer with you when they win. I will love you always.

Funny Wedding Vow #4:

Bride to groom: Early in our marriage you will find it difficult to get the last word in any discussion. With time, though, you will learn how to always get the last two words in every discussion. Just make sure the words are "Yes dear."

Bride to groom: Always remember the three magic words: "You're right dear."

Funny Wedding Vow #5:

Minister to Bride: Do you take this man to be your husband?

Bride: I do.

Minister to Groom: Do you take this woman to be your wife?

Bride: He does.

Funny Wedding Vow #6:

Groom: I promise to love you as much as the Chicago Cubs and not hold your black and white striped dress against you. From this day forward, I will listen to all of your complaints about the mall if you say them during the off season, and promise to retire my baseball cap and face paint for public outings. I will love you in sickness and in health, from this day forward, until death parts us, or you become a White Sox fan.

Bride: I promise to love you as much as I love my credit card and not hold your poor fashion sense against you. I will only show you my new clothes during commercial breaks and promise to keep you in the latest Cub fashions. From this day forward, I will make sure your lucky shirt is washed for every game day, and will have plenty of potato chips on hand. I will love you for richer or poorer, as long as our credit limit stays high.

Funny Wedding Vow #7:

I John, take you Mary, to be my lawfully wedded wife.
To be together in happiness and strife,
To have and to hold,
Even if your cooking grows mold.
I love you in richness and in debt,
And cherish all moments since we have met.
I promise to love you until the end of my days,
As long as you stay out of my baseball plays.
I pledge to be faithful
Even when we’re old and dull.

Funny Wedding Vow #8:

Will you Sam take Pam to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort her and keep her warm on those long nights when her boyfriend is gone? Will you remain true to her until Thursday afternoon and remain together until she ticks you off for good?

Will you Bert have Ernestine to be your legally wedded wife? I promise to be true to you in good times as long as you're healthy and make love to me and make me dinner. Amen.

Ms. Seuss would you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband? Would you could you in a house? Would you could you with this louse? Would you could you in our church? Would you could you giving birth? Would you take this Sam I Am man and in the morning feed him green eggs and ham?

I, Luci take you Desi to be my husband, my partner in crime and my one true bad boy lover. I will cherish our friendship even when you're away in the Big House. I will love you today, tomorrow and til the end of your life sentence. I will laugh at you, cry for you and love you semi-faithfully through the best of appeals and the worse of appeals. I've given you my hand to hold through jailhouse glass and will visit you often. So, help me Judge Judy.

I, party of the first part, do thee wed, party of the second part, to have and to hold under this contract witnessed before ye parties of the third part. Heretowith, I proclaim myself without further contractual obligations until such time as this marriage contract becomes null and void in a court of law.

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